I just realized something. I really fucking miss my one and only best friend right now. Although she and I never talk anymore since I've moved, it still feels like she's the only person that I can truly connect with. And as sad as it sounds, the only times I really try to get in touch with her is when I'm drinking. When I'm real drunk it's even worse, because I wind up leaving her these obnoxious drunk calls about how much I "miss her" and "love her" and how she's virtually the only woman I've ever felt the most connected with, Lol. I'm feeling buzzed offa this rum and Coke right now, but I'm getting there. And for some reason I just really want to talk to her. Not to bitch and moan about how my life is currently in the shitter, but rather, how the hell she's doing. I just want to know what her accomplishments have been, what her goals are, who she's hanging out with nowadays, who her new friends are, if she has a new boyfriend, if she's in school, how work is going, if she's happy, if she's doing anything meaningful or special. She's one of the few people, if not only that I honestly want to know anything and everything about. She's so important to me, and it scares me sometimes. I've only known her for what, five? six years? I don't know, I'm too lazy to even count. All that matters is that I want her right now. Not as just a shadow of a shoulder to cry on, but just to keep in touch with my old life from back at home. I think I just freak her out, now. Lol. Or maybe she's just busy. That happens, too. And I don't blame her. I just wish I knew how her life was going.

Though I doubt she'll ever find this blog and hear this message, I just want to say, that I miss you Linds. More than anything.