This morning I woke up from having an awesome dream with Trevor. I ran into him at some get-together and although at first he kind of wanted to avoid me (one of those, “Ugh, go away” things.) Finally I convinced him with my charm to give me the time of day, and he did. We had some fun times and just chatted like old, casual friends from high school. Then when it got dark, it started to rain, and we were ready to leave. He was about to offer to hang out a bit more, until I saw his dad and his step-mom getting into the driver and passenger sides and I had to decline. I always felt like they didn’t really like me. Christian, and shit.

We gave each other a hug good bye and departed ways. I like waking up from dreams like that.

Just got blood on the inside of my skinny jeans due to both this annoying ITCH on my shin, and the cuticle paper cut that is obviously not remotely healed, yet.

Today I ship out to New York. I’m ready to experience culture shock.

Also, can’t wait to receive my Mark of the Beasts in the mail. It will be the day when I officially become a Californian.

I once knew this chick name Tamryn that I was, or felt, was really good friends with. She was always all, “Oh, it’s okay, you can open up to me, talk to me about things. We’re friends, it’s great.” So I did. At that point in time I would kind of vent to her, or seek advice about my predicament between Trevor and Jason. She was always nice about it, tried being the “shit just got real” friend, etc.

Little did I know, like a year down the line when I got back in touch with the ex she used to date, he told me how she would always bitch and bicker to him about my troubles and everything I told her about. “OH MY GOD, IT PISSES ME OFF HOW SHE’S SLUTTY.” “Why the fuck would she want to do that, she needs to make up her mind.” “JESUS SHE IS SO ANNOYING.” etc. \

My point being. I hate two-faced people. Always have, and always will. There is no point in being nice to my face when all you’re going to do is, not necessarily talk shit, but speak negatively to someone else about me. Some people think I’m not a big girl and can’t “handle the truth.” Believe me; I’d rather have the truth, than some sugar-coated bullshit.

I wound up telling one of my followers on DailyBooth about my dreaded break-up and how it made me change in ways that I felt needed to be done a long, long time ago. He wound up sharing me this tidbit:

“It’s odd but today on NPR they had writer Elizabeth Gilbert talking about her newest book *Committed* and she said something that stuck with me, she said - ‘People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…’ “

BFC 9:12 PM

I will admit that I feel like Jessica may turn into, like, my “best coworker friend.” I wouldn’t dare tell her this personally because I might freak her out, but I’ve talked with her about so much shit from relationships to personal stuff and I feel like she’s getting to know me on a personal level that most of my friends are at. Today I was able to ask her, “You think I’ve changed at all?” and she was able to answer it without hesitation. Considering she’s the only person (room mate aside) that sees me and talks to me on a daily basis, she’s pretty much one of the few people that can give me some definite answers, while knowing the kind of person that I am at the same time. It felt good today when she told me some things. ■

Mmmmmmmm, pad tai! + peanut sauce = ♡♡♡♡

PORQUe!!!!!!!!!111

watch it turn PiNK