Sonya tells me that I should move to Richmond at least by next summer sometime.

It feels good that you at least matter in someone's life.

Even if people claim she's a sociopath.

But I feel like I can't leave Linds and Tory behind. I think right now, they matter to me most, aside from the usual kinks we could have... :\ Sigh. Sonya's also working at a Walden Bookstore, now. That's one of the things I love about working at bookstores - you can pretty much dress however you wish (for instance, Sonya's faded Batman shirt and kahkies :P) and it feels like bookstores have a better enviroment.

Tim basically tells me he wants to be wtih me again. But knowing him, I don't know, I think he's just telling me shit that I just "want" to hear. I don't know if I could be happy with him again.

I'd also like to go to VCU. I heard mostly chicks go there and a lot of doods try to pick up dates and hit on them there. But that's not my reason for wanting to go there, ROFL. It's an art school, a university at that, so it would probably be a while before I even try going into that school.

I noticed how everyone is going to school, now. It kind of makes me feel left out, Rofl. I bet college life is sexy. And I wonder if my friends from high school will go to Northeast like we all used to talk about. I seem to be referring to the olden days a lot lately. I guess because the past is like my solace; a big chunk of my life that still holds the old me and old, close friends.

It just feels like shit's drawing apart for me.

I should talk to Linds about this. Because I'm sure she's been feeling the same for quite some time, now.

I'm going to try to head into school around maybe the spring time. It feels too late to head into school in the winter time (but we'll see.) I also need to get the license and car. >_< Without those things, I feel kind of incapable of even going to college, or moving for that matter, Rofl. I just wonder if college life would even be the same as high school, but without its assholes. But who knows. :\

Green Day"Whatsername"

Thought I ran into you down on the street
Then it turned out to only be a dream
I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face, but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatsername has been
Seems that she disappeared without a trace
Did she ever marry oh, whatshisface?
I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face, but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how whatsername has been
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind, she's in my head from so long ago
And in the darkest night if my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you, but not the time

I need some new friends.

Because it seems like the ones I currently do have in person, are either a) no longer affiliated with me, b) moving away and could care God damn less, or c) I no longer see them anymore for various reasons, or d) or well, the ones I do have is probably less than the amount of five and are either so very close to me, or are just, I guess, "friends."

I have many friends online. Most of which I'll probably never have a chance to meet in person. I envy my online life - as weird as it sounds. Not to say that I'm not satisfied with my current friends, but it feels like that I'm losing more and more, just losing contact with them, or they just don't care anymore.

I just feel lonely. Right now, it just feels like Lindsey is my only friend. The only person that will be right there if I'm dying or in some situation of dire need. The only person I can come to with my problems and someone who will be there when I need a friend. 

Bleh.

It just kind of sucks.

Like she and I just need to move out of this town. It feels like we're the only ones who really seem to care about the shit that's going on around us. Like we really care for only each other. She's got her own friends, sure. But it seems to me that she feels that even they could really give shit less about her (Cough, Danielle.) 

Linds, we need to leave this place (and get you a man.)

D:

Check out this uberly ridiculous website: http://www.truthforyouth.com

pr0nagraphy: Porn is only what you make of it (and how you were raised.) Some could look at pr0n and grow up stupid and retarded in treatment to females. However, some could look at it, as either something to fwap off to or just look at for the hell of it. Just because you're some goofy 16-year old Christian with a hard on, it doesn't mean you're going to abuse the next woman you get into a relationship with just because you whacked off to some porn. Get the fuck over it.

Homosexuality: If you are a homosexual, yes, you can be both born with it or become adapted to it. Do Christians really think gays want to be gay and be insulted for the shit they tolerate? They're the cause of AIDS? Wtf? I'm not one who's got experience with homosexuality, but dammit, people should quit being gay about it. It's their life and how they live it. Get the fuck over it. (Go look at pr0n.)

Safe sex: Self-explanatory.

Abortion: Okay, I'm sure little Christians don't need to read a dinky comic about a couple of random stranded people on an island with a suddenly pregnant girl and a dying father who has to explain to her about babies before birth and suddenly dying afterward (run-on sentence.) It's interesting how babies are still considered alive after before being abortion'd. So... like, shall we arrest the doctors who perform the surgeries, then maybe, name the babies, get their fingerprints and birth records, and suddenly consider them live human beings at 3-weeks old? Someone, please, Hadouken my head. :| Pregnancy should be left up to the woman to decide. Sure, there are cases where 14-year old girls don't deserve to have abortions for being the dumb slut faces that they are. However, there are more worthy women in need of these things more than ever. If women have the power to bring humans into the world, they should also have the power to notbring them into the world. Capi'che?

Rock music: PLZ.

School violence: For guys who can't get boners, so they have to kick the asses of nerds who have bigger cocks than they. :)

Evolution: For one, you can't just claim how evolution probably didn't happen, then suddenly, just turn around and claim that because there are so many gaps into the history of earth and evolution, that you have to throw in God and his creativities. You can't prove that a greater force created earth and its inhabitants no more than you can prove how this earth came to what it is today. Try throwing anti-evolutionary shit into my face and I'll tell you some cute racist jokes, since apparently by Truth for Youths, evolution seems to be a whole ractist claim. :\

Drugs: I'm sure you can refer to several people about that subject.

Drunkeness: It has its kinks.

Peer pressure: Uhh...

I've been having an urge to do a lot of arts lately
but what really sux0rz
is the fact that I suck at doing poses and hands in general.
Practice, practice, practice.
Ugh. And how my peices seem to contain the same damn thing -
each character I draw is looking to the right or left.
Sigh.
I need to practce CG and colored pencils and practice a better ink style. >_<
Gyah, the Z.O.E. soundtrack sounds so beautiful...
I am falling in love with Heart of Air. *__*

Hi Catacomb_Maiden! It's been 886 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga... won't you support us by going Premium?

Holy shit.

Did I mention that I finally got a Slimline PS2? Jeremy tried convincing me of how bad of a decision I made the first night I got it. Like that will change anything, pfft. :P I'm just glad that I have something to DO besides interweb.

...And now about maybe getting a new TV... xD

Honestly, though? I'm really happy that I've finally got a PS2. Now I can actually buy GAMES. But the only time I've touched it was the first night I got it. I think it's already starting to collect dust. :\ I can tell you why, though - I think it's just because of my shit TV, that I dont' really feel the need to play it. :\ I bought FFXII to do with it, and so far, I've only gotten as far as... I guess, a bit after meeting Rikku. Sigh. But here are the games that I do want to buy... *__*

Chrono Cross (if I never get it back. :|)
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Sonic Mega Collection Plus
Red Ninja: End of Honor
Way of the Samurai 2
Seven Samurai 20XX
Nightshade
Tony Hawk Pro Skater/2
Ephemeral Fantasia
Marvel vs Capcom 2
Guilty Gear Isuka
Guilty Gear X
Guilty Gear X2
Soul Calibur/2/3
King of Fighers 2000/2001
Capcom vs. SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium 2001
Kingdom Hearts 2 (when it comes out. *_*)
Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Tekken 5
Final Fantasy X-2
.Hack: Mutation (Part 2)
.Hack: Outbreak (Part 3)
.Hack: Quarantine (Part 4)
Suikoden 3
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Katamari Damacy
RPG Maker II
Xenosaga
Namco Museum: 50th Anniversary Arcade Collection
DDR Max
DDR Max 2
DDR Extreme

I had a bigger wishlist than I thought I would have. :P

On Monday's telecast of his Christian Broadcasting Network show "The 700 Club," Robertson had said: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."

He continued: "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." - Pat Robertson

(I think I kinda like this guy, Rofl.)

School.

Actually started to kind of miss it.

I see friends of mine who are still attending school (not college, mind you) and I think about how they're lucky.

And then I also start to think about how many adults told me the same thing, and wished they could do school all over again (then again, I think they're the ones that dropped out... :P)

School is a blessing, yet a curse. You have your early wake-up calls, the jack asses that make your day from bad to worse, and at the same time, you have to concentrate of a lot of pointless bullshit that supposedly helps you get through life. I'll fork over five dollars for every item in school that I literally thought pointless that I have yet to use (I could give you a long-ass line of Geometry examples...)

If I could restart school however, I would start with seventh grade. You start off with a real clean slate. The only ones who know you are the ones you went to elementry school with (this is actually a key thing, if not many people you know of went to the same elementary school as you. :P) With the shit I've tolerated, dealt with, and learned throughout these past four years of God-forbidding high school, I think I really wouldn't mind going back to middle school. Seriously. As much as I hate Math, I'm sure I could review the shit I had to learn in middle school and manage to pass with A's for two years. Sigh. Anything but Geometry. I wouldn't want to wish it on my worst enemy... :P

One of the primary things about school I miss is the lunch, though. Vance may not have had uber lunches, but their fries kicked ass and you got a shit-load of 'em. THS food owned (but also seemed to have an effect on me. I realized that I lost weight after graduating... :\) Let's face it. School lunches ROCK.

And another thing.

A lot, if not all, teachers/adults will tell you "school is not for social hour." That's complete and utter bullshittery. School is meant to be one, whole, ginormous eight-hour day of being social, whether it be with friends or faculty. I'd say 83.7% friends, however. There were actually times in school that I would look forward to seeing my friends. That's the best thing about high school... you weren't stuck at a computer all day, and you had a variety of people to be with and see.

Sigh.

Field day. :P

I guess graduation was (just a little bit) disappointing for me - I won't get to see the same friends as often as I used to, and eventually, it will be a couple of years till we literally see each other again by running into each other at a Food City; and rather than having it a joke about "wow, you lost weight!" or "I haven't seen you in too many damn years!", it'll be literal. As I would use to joke about that in school a lot. :P 

I hope I don't have to wait too long to get my Chrono Cross back from fucking Brian, though. >:| I want that game back!!

Parents.

Rei Chan YoYo: I fuckin' can't stand parents sometimes.
Rei Chan YoYo: Mom tells me to feed the dogs.
Rei Chan YoYo: So she sets up their dinners
Rei Chan YoYo: while she does that, I go sit back in the livingroom
Rei Chan YoYo: then she's all like
Rei Chan YoYo: "RHIANNON"
Rei Chan YoYo: I go
Rei Chan YoYo: "WHAT"
Rei Chan YoYo: And she goes
Rei Chan YoYo: "EXCUSE ME PLX"
Rei Chan YoYo: ANd I was like
Rei Chan YoYo: "I was waiting on you!"
Rei Chan YoYo: Then she gets on my case. -_-
Rei Chan YoYo: And I told her
Rei Chan YoYo: "well, I didn't want to just stand there waiting"
Rei Chan YoYo: and she was alike
Rei Chan YoYo: "OH I'M SORRY"
Rei Chan YoYo: Then I just blow it off and take the food and said
Rei Chan YoYo: Oh, I'm sorry you're in a bad mood
Rei Chan YoYo: then she's all
Rei Chan YoYo: "NO, ACTUALLY, I AM IN A WONDERFUL MOOD"
Rei Chan YoYo: GG.
Rei Chan YoYo: -_-
Rei Chan YoYo: She tries to tell me why while I head out the door
Rei Chan YoYo: then she's like
Rei Chan YoYo: "fuck it, I don't even have to explain to you"
Rei Chan YoYo: Then I come back in to start up my ramen
Rei Chan YoYo: and she comes from teh basement all like
Rei Chan YoYo: "That's it - you're off the computer by 10 starting tomorrow"
Rei Chan YoYo: I'm like
Rei Chan YoYo: WTF
Rei Chan YoYo: As she's going to her room she's all
Rei Chan YoYo: "for once you should do shit around the house instead and whining about it etc"
Rei Chan YoYo: I'm like
Rei Chan YoYo: wtf. :|
Rei Chan YoYo: I didn't even whine about it.
Rei Chan YoYo: I'm whining about her God damn attitiude.
Rei Chan YoYo: Geez.
Rei Chan YoYo: That's the thing between mom and I. When the one of us is in a bad mood, we start picking at each other and bitching
Rei Chan YoYo: -___-
Rei Chan YoYo: God damn.
Rei Chan YoYo: She pisses me off sometimes.
Rei Chan YoYo: ...

(This is me too lazy to type out a whole entry about my rant, Rofl.)

You know what I love about Green Day's American Idiot albulm? Just how Holiday and Boulevard of Broken Dreams fade into each other. However, I wish it were the opposite and to have Boulevard as track three. Holiday is a song that brings me up when I'm down sometimes. It's a real good song and it's one my most favorite Green Day songs; in it contains their notoriously great beat, delicious lyrics, and just the drums and bass solo. It makes me want to do a Van Halen and swirl my hair around (or just any rock band in that time. :P) I wish it were a holiday for me everyday. Then maybe things wouldn't be shit for me as much as they have been as of late. :| "This is the dawning of the rest of our lives on Holiday." However, Boulevard of Broken Dreams brings me to reminisce and think of how poopy I've been feeling (in fact, I listen to it when I'm emo in general.) Sometimes I do feel like I'm alone. If not, have just very few people to give me that big ass hug I've been dying for and just another one of my melty-ass coookie dough ice creams from Marble Slab Mike and and I ate that passed weekend. I think that's my new favorite thing to do - just eat ice cream with someone that I hold close to me (don't know about Mike, though. :PPP He's just a fag! ROFL. JK JK JK JK JK.) Listening to this song just makes me think of the bullshittery I've been having to tolerate with as of late such as too much of the usual teenage drama shit and dealings with the ex-boyfriend and the current one. A lot of trust issues are floating about, as are these supposed "rumors" that seem to originate from the ex himself. Who, might I add, has a lot of problems. A friend of our's has been drug into it, and I'm pissed because another individual is being dragged into a situation that nobody else should even be involved with to begin with. At all. It amazes me how far people will go to stir up shit and make themselves feel worse than they already do. It's not like I can really do anything about it. Can't really talk to him about it since I already know what his problem is, WHY he's doing it, and WHAT'S bothering his lilly ass. There is nothing to discuss. However, I just want to tell him to stop his bullshit and quit driving everyone else into a situation that can only be delt between he and I with no one else included. Obviously he doesn't get the picture. On the other hand, he's balancing with trying to talk with some chick siince it was due to me that fucked up his last relationship. He thinks I'm out to get him and all the while, he's starting up shit about me and now I'm almost convinced that he's out to get me, even. Bah. MEN. :|

Man dies after 50 hours of computer games South Korean left seat in Internet cafe only to use toilet, take brief naps Updated: 6:43 p.m. ET Aug. 9, 2005 SEOUL, South Korea - A South Korean man who played computer games for 50 hours almost non-stop died of heart failure minutes after finishing his mammoth session in an Internet cafe, authorities said on Tuesday. The 28-year-old man, identified only by his family name Lee, had been playing online battle simulation games at the cybercafe in the southeastern city of Taegu, police said. Lee had planted himself in front of a computer monitor to play online games on Aug. 3. He only left the spot over the next three days to go to the toilet and take brief naps on a makeshift bed, they said.

Man. I'm feeling really irked right now. Just a shitty day, I guess. My boss did a good job of making me out to look like a dumb ass over shit you'd think I would know by now for the past year I've fuckin' worked there. :\ Been listening to a lot of Bowling for Soup and also confirmed that I am bipolar, Rofl. Then again. I would think most teenagers are by now? Lawl.

And Richmond is starting to look a lot nicer from here... :\