I'm feeling crazy emo at the moment. I dunno, maybe it's just the weather. Maybe it's because Dawid is irking me. Just a few complications here or there, and his own pewpiness. I don't know how to convince him otherwise.

I think he needs James Mason.

Anyway, I think another addition to my emoness is the fact that I totally suck at getting around on deviantART. Rofl. Dawid asks if I want him to pimp me out, and I just say, "NO NIGGA." Somehow I don't think my anime-ness can fit in with his uber Marvel-esque groupies. Even though he laughed at me when I called them his groupies, Rofl.

I'm in the mood for this crazy, big-ass warm dinner meal. Makes me wish Thanksgiving would come already.

Lately I've been tramatized with heart burn. It's really starting to bother me. Tory told me about how his mom kept having it and burned away at a lot of her esophagous. Htf you spell that. x_x I'm not entirely paranoid about it, but last thing I want is the worst to happen, Rofl. I don't want to get shafted just because I hate to swallow pills.

I finally got rid of that stupid dresser in the corner of my room. Now my room looks hella spacious, it's scary. Since I also have this massive pile of crap that I need to go through, which actually doesn't sound like a bad idea for tomorrow, I feel like I want to.. move stuff around. x_x I also want to buy some new furniture... Ugh. Don't know how I'll go about doing that, though. I just want some more effin' room in this cell of mine. And now that the season has gotten colder, my room gets colder. But I think I'm a lot more fortunate this time. This time, I've windows that actually keep the cold out, I finally stuffed a pillow that will actually STAY inside this hole in my wall (I'll punch the next cat that tries to pry it open, Rofl) and for once, the heat is actually coming through my single vent in my room. And I think I even have a heater that actually radiates heat this time. My room isn't the warmest atm, but at least my fingers don't feel like icicles. Which is good, because I've got about three or four pictures lined up for inking... Rofl.

Speaking of which, massive art update:

Weird how people can have an effect on me. Lately I've actually been practicing with some monochromatic sketches, and for once, actually quite proud of them, ROFL. Just need to practice a bit more with my cross hatching. But I want to learn some more sketching techniques. ^_^ It's interesting, tho - because of Dawid's work, I've actually started to pay more attention to my sketches, and also realizing how fun it is to work with pencils. Because with pencils  you can correct a mistake your fucked up on and actually add a lot more effects and do a lot more with pencils. However, this doesn't mean that I'll give up on my Inking no Jutsu, Rofl. Still practicing hardcore with that. And also a big thanks to Dawid, for indirectly teaching me that it's a good idea to do warm-ups before actually working on a good pic. I feel so flattered that I manage to learn so much from two amazing artists such as Steven and Dawid. Something tells me that I am one hella lucky sumabish, Rofl.

As for my Spidey comic, argh, I think once the weekend comes up and nothing big happens (like anything usually does...) I'm going to sit down and just write out prolly the entire first chapter of my comic. Then again... I think I should come up with character names first. XD The Idiot's Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel is such an awesome book. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who plans to go into the comicing field. I've learned a lot from it, as well. But as more ideas and updates come with that comic, I'll keep anyone updated as to whoever is reading my blogg0rz, ROFL. UGH. And I'm heavily debating if I should go to Nekocon or the Bristhell Comic Fest... ;-; I would so love to commission Skottie Young (Steven got me loving that guy's work, Rofl. Dawid = also big fan. XD) Ugh... I just don't want to run into anyone that I've been trying to avoid for the past few months at Nekocon if I do choose to go... ._. Last thing I want is more drama. Maybe I should get Linds to get some inside scoops from Danielle... ROFL.

Right now it just feels like a lot is on my mind. Right now... it feels like there are a couple of people in my life that feel so special to me who make me out to be like... this "goddess", for lack of a better word. I feel so God-awful about, too. Because often times I feel like I'm not deserving of other peoples' sacrifices. It's amazing how I could even have that effect on people... And given my past experiences, it makes me feel like I shouldn't really be worth over 13 grand. But the least I could do, regardless of how pewpy I may feel as the situations come and go, I'm at least more than thankful. Because for once, I don't feel so lonely anymore.

Entirely grateful for those who find it in their hearts to love me as much as they do. Because I'd never find it anywhere else.

...Even you, Steven.