Everyday, I feel that I am having conflicts with my inner self. And everyday it feels like it's just getting worse and worse. I find myself becoming more self-concious than usual, finding it harder to figure what who or what I really am, and making decisions that either worth making or too foolish to even try...

I had Steven do a Tarot reading for me when we all went up to JC to celebrate Sharon's divorce (/gg Sharon getting out of a bad marriage :) and when he did a reading out of the Major Arcana, I dunno... a lot of things that he told me seemed to make a lot of sense. Now somehow I wish that I could have recorded it all, since my memory is shit. XD; I realize there is a lot going on with myself, and it requires only *me* to figure out. I need to straighten up, see the light. I want to view the world in an entirely different perspective and clean myself up so I can become a better person. But right now it feels like too many people are influencing my decisions and beliefs, therefore I'm going to have to make a few changes that I am sure not too many people will be appreciative of... But lately it just feels like I've just been doing a lot of things the wrong ways for the right reasons...

I just hope that I can be understood clearly and that everyone can have my back on this. Because what I feel that I need right now is moral support, and that's what will make me the happiest...